I really hope le brother is getting me some pretty stuff!
and that someone would watch MIB3 with me this thursday. i desperately need to watch it this thursday else my tickets will go to waste ): there's no other nice,interesting movie that i haven't watched. the road looks interesting though but they're only showing it at vivo which is far far away from school!
i foresee a lot of shit coming my way, really wondering if i'm paranoid! but i also see myself being my old-self again. the always smiling girl who doesn't portray much of her emotions but yah definitely with less smiles cause there's hardly any reason to.
i'm interacting more with my classmates but i still see no point in making them what the society calls 'friends'. so in the end i still go my own way after class unless there's project meeting or a break which only occurs on wednesday..really lucky for a compact timetable. though i have breaks on tuesdays and fridays,there's company of my awesome people ♥
I really wonder if there's such a thing as post-menstrual syndrome...because i think i suffer from it,LOL,whut!
No,seriously,i'm feeling so angry today for like no solid reason...
So here i am because i cannot control my anger any longer, looking at back surprised at how i managed to type this much without screaming yet.
I foresee the following:
Friendship problems
Group Project shits
Horrible Grades
Outrage at le family
Good girl turning real bad
A broken heart for the rest of my life
That pretty much sums up everything and tells you how much i've been thinking lately...actually yest and today only luh.
Rage time,if you care you'd read if not it's nothing impt anyway...
So ya i've this classmate lets call him tona.he's very good with his words that it annoys me. i can't stand to see him rub his butt into some other clique so just so he'll 'fit in'.then i hear a lot of unpleasant things regarding him from bebo but still he was friendly and one of the first to talk to me in class.so i responded pretty nicely. but now,SORRY.you're getting on my nerves.tona said we should ace the project but till date he hasn't done anything much except talk!the other two groupmates, i dont know what they're tryna do.it's annoying too but my anger is all focused on tona because he set a dateline which he knew he couldnt meet then wtf set for what? apart from this project that we're doing together, i see this idotic tona seizing opportunities to take advantage of me in the sense that he likes to what i'd call sabo me.i fucking hate it.i'm fine with it if you're my good friend,dont even need to be close and if i'm in a comfortable environment which i am obviously not- my silence proves it all.I am not going to give in in any way.deal with your life yourself,you won't get my sympathy.it amazes me to hear that your gpa reaches a 3 even. are you lying to me?i bet you are.it's bad to judge people like that but i really cannot help myself. everytime he opens his mouth,i feel like saying idgaf but oh well that's too rude.i just laugh.mmmm,my style. so lately he's been bugging me with all other work.i mean if you pay attention you'd know.if you attend lessons you'd know.why must you come to me and not go to someone else?! you're friends with everyone what.why me,is the question to which i need the answer to.i know it's normal for people to ask such thing,to make such small talks but i don't want.so i'm putting on the bitchy attitude.i say no to everything he says. if you're lost it's not my problem. if you fail it's not my problem. if you think sleeping is more important it also is not my problem but if it concerns my grade,it's my problem which is the only reason why i do the project on my own.if you care you'd ask and contribute. don't turn the tables at me,because i'll flip it! i don't regret being mean with you,something unusual of me.i don't even trust you with the work but i want you to stop bugging me so i let you do it.you better send it to me by 10.30 a time of your choice if not i'll make sure i irritate the hell out of you.you went home early and yet you can't finish.there isn't a reason why you can't and i can okay! it isn't a difficult piece of work also.fuck off seriously.you're not even worth my time to spend raging and getting angry over.
Fingers crossed. i really hope i'm not exposed,if i am a friendship would be on the verge of breaking. i know said i'll try and i am. things have improved since but then it was a helpless situation the other night.I know it's his and partly my fault for not getting it done earlier. i should've insisted on getting it done rather then spending the time on meaningless talks and games.sighs.i hope such things don't happen again
I feel annoyed sometimes, i don't get why i must tell you everything about us when you don't do the same.it's very unfair but i don't know why i end up giving in.it sucks to be like that you know. i hope one day i talk this shit into you.but it'll ruin our friendship big time,i swear it will. then i'll officially be a loner.fucccck!
The urge to confess has reached my throat.it'll flow pretty fast to the mouth and out to him.it's so weird,i feel weird. i thought my feelings would eventually die but after four years,it's still here. i thought it'll die because we won't meet anymore but no it's still here. i feel as though you've let me hanging. you give me mixed feelings.i need to know what you think of me. why do you make it seem as though you want me but don't want me?are you affected by peer pressure?i'm serious. i wish i was close to ridzwan or sharaf or ryan pai (who i don't even know) so i could ask them about you.at least i'd have someone to confide in. it's funny how the ex st pat's know me but i pathetically know only 2,one of which i've only heard stories of and the other who can recognise me in real life, creepy much.
Will fate bring us together or is it just a test of my life which i'll have to overtime overcome?
I'm not close to my father.i have weird thoughts. I don't want to ruin things,i want everyone to lead their life happily and don't be a hindrance into one another's. i mean there are certain things that i believe we should be allowed to do on our own. a child is not a kid always and parent's need to realise that.
Good girl gone bad is what they call me now ):
<3
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