i'm doing everything but what i should be doing right now.
i'm so confused with my work,never felt this lost before in my poly life so far.
and the worst part is my classmates..sighs. not that they're mean or anything but then i think i cannot clique with them so ya....a bit hard to ask them for help to clarify and get rid of my confusion. so i ask my awesome people and cause we're all in different classes,we have different tutors who say different things and then i just get more confused.sighs sighs sighs.workload has piled up and i'm still procrastinating! it's because i don't know what i'm doing,whether it's right or wrong and my aunty tutor stresses me up and makes me more tensed for some unknown reason,urggg.
i'm on the verge of puling my hair off.
i want to sleep but i don't want to sleep.every shit is confusing me now.
okay,i need to grab a grip of myself and stop complaining about everything and getting angry over everything and talking nonsense and for laughing over stupid stuff and for 'shooing' people away for a dumb reason. i feel as though i'm so rude but i feel unappreciated when i try to be friendlier/nicer.
so what am i supposed to do huh?

ohhh and dammit,i foresee myself being stuck in the middle once again.it's coming from two different perspective.
first between the two girls.i'm so confused with your relationship with each other.i don't know what you guys think of each other. all i hope is that you guys remain good friends for long and not put me in the middle,it's really hard.maybe i should've said i dont know what one is going through so that i could have avoided all this but then again it's quite mean if i'd done that.urg.
second would be between two classmates.oh fuck it.i'm no longer both your classmates,don't drag me in.i know my dear girls don't want me to keep helping but then it's important to give some kind of motivation, encouragement and support at some point of time. and because people in the class don't know each other well enough yet, i think it's crucial to leave a good impression. i swear it was stupid of you to open your mouth.i'm sure i'm going to be nagged at for doing your work for you.you just lowered her faith in you.and in a way mine too. no one's going to believe me when i say you tried.maybe they need to know what the other thinks of them.but hell no, it'll just worsen the friendship.so once again there was an awkward silence. and what else could've happened other than pulling it off as a joke? i just stood there silent.it makes me wonder if you'll tell your groupmates i did it.
i just hope all of this wouldn't ruin the friendship i have with each of you.

okay so important question right now: to watch a movie tomorrow or stay in school to do my freaking work?!

<3