Overspilling thoughts

As much as I loved today, today's making me go crazy with the thoughts revolving around me.
Small and big things that happen which make me think deep to look for a solution,i'm so much so affected i wonder why that i feel the immediate urge to find solutions to all of em,so that everyone can be the least as happy as i am with my life right now.

I'm glad that i've only made this space known to 2 people very close to my heart.it makes it much easier for me to express myself freely,without much thought of being judge or worrying over what might happen after i post up my thoughts and feelings.

Let's begin with an issue relating to me. Once again,today I ended up in an argument with might have blown if i wasn't in the best of my mood. Sem was telling me how i should stop helping people that someone in particular,boss. The way she sees it and in fact i think many others is far different from how i see it. I strongly feel that everyone should be given sometime to adapt to changes and this time can take up to yrs. An old habit cannot be kicked away just like that,it bloody takes time! maybe if you were in his shoes you'll know. Honestly,somehow i feel the need to ask everyone around me if i'm helping boss too much. i want to ask but who can i ask and know that i'm going to get an honest answer? luq would be honest but he'll start changing his views and pts as i say more,making me confused. haz always says tha bare minimal and i'm actually scared to be in an argument with her,she's fierce k! hahaha. then there's msyterious guy whom i can ask too but i think we don't know each other that well so us to judge each other's position? than there's my buddy but she doesn't know anything i do for boss so how'd she answer me? so technically, there's NO ONE WHO CAN ANSWER ME! unless i try asking boss himself then he'd most probably say, why are you asking me such a weird question,what am i going to say then?it's just frustrating,i feel the need to help and i can't explain that to Sem in words and dam she has the wrong feeling now. ):
I'M NOT OBLIGED,i really am not.

okay so done with 1 issue, 3 more to go.gosh.

So since i'm alr talking abt boss let's continue w him.i really wish he'd start being more open w me. i do not like the i know you know so i dont have to say it feeling. yes, i know his girl broke up w him cause she thinks he's irresponsible. but hello girl,did you try finding out why?might be lazy but when there's something impt he knows he has to do,he does it,maybe thats what you failed to see.okay there might be other reasons to your decision but that guy really loves you,won't you give him another chance? Boss,who always had a hot celebrity model as his background on his phone,now has a pic of em two.and his tweets following what i saw just made a whole lot of sense and spoke a thousand words. babe,he's always indirectly referring to you,i'm sure you're smart enough to tell so why are you punishing him?can't you guys work out a solution tgt? i feel lika bitch for judging the entire situation by knowing just so little but dammit,i cant help it,how?i must admit i don't know a lot so my viewpoint might be wrong,if boss is in the wrong and i happen to know it,i'll give him a long lecture,who cares if i may sound like a nagging bastard, knock some sense into him and provide him w a solution to get his girl back.

Let's move to the next issue if not i'll never finish.

So there's this buddy of mine who i feel emotionally related to,there's just this special connection i feel with her cause of what life has brought us through.only to find out today that she's going through tragic in her life ):
that sweetie has so much to say but has kept it all to herself all this while,why,why,why.i feel so useless asking myself why didn't i go to her earlier,i mean things would've been better,right?i mean she wouldn't have to hide her feelings for a longer time....on the contrast, i am really very very happy,that she felt worthwhile turning to me of all the others (: there's so much to say but i guess i wont,just want to help her and find a solution for her and hope for the better of her and her family. i'm willing to do so much but  i don't want her to feel as though i'm doing it cause i pity her neither do i want her to feel like she's a burden on me. so how am i going to do it,hmmmm,gonna spend the night to think through it.

Oh boy,this dude had been a problem at the start of the year and it seems like he has to end the yr with it too,thinking of who i'm thinking? yes its that annoying euroy. why is he so hard to read.why is it that i cannot think along the same lines as him.why can't i reason out for the things he does?he does nothing but give me a shock and leaves me poundering with the why question. holly crap. stop flirting if that's what you are doing. i'm going to be a huge obstacle in your success if you ever try to do anything to hurt my beloveds! you've yet to see the worst of me.that innocent girl,she's scared of you,i wonder why she started talking to you,she should just continue using her awesome ways to ignore or divert her attention away from you. i feel so happy and accomplished to have left you behind me,to not bother and let myself get affected by your actions. i totally love my current company of people who make me feel even happier of severing whatever friendship ties that we had at the beginning. somehow,i feel that you don't talk to me anymore because of the change in people whom i hang out with,HAHA.Racist faggot.

And after typing so much it suddenly occurred to me that i can solve the last issue haunting me tonight itself,yay,some achievement at least (:

And today i discovered something,wow these few days is full of discoveries,i seem to be finding out something interesting everyday.
Anyway, among the 3 malay boys, only 1 is a true malay,HAHAHAHAH.
ones a chindian and the other is a maladian, if that even makes sense. cooooooool right right right? :D

On a side note, year 1 has been rather interesting with some awesome friendships to be cherished.though i laugh at you,make fun of you,don't talk much to you,be unreasonable with you,decide not to entertain you, irritate you, ignore you or even try much more than needed to help you, i love you.

Now after a yr to disclose the nice people in my class,heheeehe:
In no particular order,
Haz
Sem
Buddy
EP
Luq
Boss
Mysterious guy
Pretty boy

Thank you for making my life so awesome <3