Mama's girl

Hi,i'm desperately missing being mama's girl.the pampered one who always follows her mother.

Honestly,out of all my siblings,i think i'm the one who got the most attention from both my parents.Now that mummy's no longer by my side,i feel life's incomplete.feeling like a lost soul looking for a reason to live.
Everyone or say most people out there have something they're looking forward to in life,something which they know will for definite reasons happens. but i'm here clueless of my future,living for no practical reason.yes there's still daddy to take care of but that's something close to impossible to achieve with happiness.

Everytime I think about my mum,i see myself beside her.No one might know how sticky i've been with my mum.It just saddens me deeply when i recall words of mummy some of which are:

"I'm never travelling without you ever again."
"You all must take care of my youngest daughter and give her happiness."
"I'm handing over to you the responsibility of our youngest daughter"
"Always be wise and keep life as simple as possible"
"Stay away from trouble"
"When you're feeling angtsy, go to your room,and spend time alone"
"Follow my footsteps"

And the list goes on and on.the phrases just like these may seem of no value but putting them into the context in which she mentioned it,makes a hell lot of differences.
Mummy loved me way too much,sometimes i wonder if i deserved all that love.
Who on their death bed would care about anyone else except about themselves?They'd probably be thinking and fearing what's going to happen to them as soon as they leave this world. MY MOTHER was an exception.
The last few words of hers was to tell my family to take care of me,its really touching to know how affectionate she was towards me.
I must've been a pain in the ass to her but she never complained.

I salute my mum for her strong character and for having the will power to live even when all hopes disappeared.For her bravery to overcome all the hardships that she has been through.To stand up for herself and make justice happen. To have faith and to believe in herself and most importantly to trust and believe in her children to take care of her and do whatever that they deemed fit for the better of her.
No matter how insane she got,her children meant the world to her and when she was with them,her madness disappeared. Even in the worst state of mind, she'd be aware of what's going wrong with her - something which I was shocked when i first learned of.

Here's a song which i truly appreciate cause it's so true and touches me each time i hear it:
Who should I give my love to?My respect and my honor toWho should I pay good mind to?After AllahAnd Rasulullah

Comes your motherWho next? Your motherWho next? Your motherAnd then your father

Cause who used to hold youAnd clean you and clothes youWho used to feed you?And always be with youWhen you were sickStay up all nightHolding you tightThat's right no otherYour mother (My mother)

Who should I take good care of?Giving all my loveWho should I think most of?After AllahAnd Rasulullah

Comes your motherWho next? Your motherWho next? Your motherAnd then your father

Cause who used to hear youBefore you could talkWho used to hold you?Before you could walkAnd when you fell who picked you upClean your cutNo one but your motherMy mother

Who should I stay right close to?Listen most toNever say no toAfter AllahAnd Rasulullah

Comes your motherWho next? Your motherWho next? Your motherAnd then your father

Cause who used to hug youAnd buy you new clothescomb your hairAnd blow your noseAnd when you cryWho wiped your tears?Knows your fearsWho really cares?My mother

Say AlhamdulillahThank you AllahThank you AllahFor my mother.
Though this may be a religious song of some sort, the wording that describe your mother (my mother) are 
applicable to all I'm sure cause a mother is a mother and is special in her own way!

I'm proud to have such an awesome mother who had her own unique style and character, one of a kind,someone who left a special effect on others,a magical inspiration on me!she's someone who no one would ever be able to replace. 

I LOVE YOU MUMMY,ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL.

YOU'RE DEEP INSIDE MY HEART <3