Reflection

I feel as though I'm moving at the rate of a tortoise.

The world seems to be advancing way too rapidly and I feel left behind. 'Time and tide waits for no man' taking its troll.

I feel I need to do so much more in a short time span if I want to make full use of my existence and if I want my story to be a success.

18 years have passed! It's a large number actually. I shall take away the first 3 years because no man can remember his life from birth. So that leaves me with a figure of 15. And in this 15 years,I've only effectively made good use of estimated 10 years.

My point is I have not progressed much in the last 5 years. And it took me god dam 5 years to realise it.

Time to pull a leg,buck up, pull up my socks, soar to great heights and the idiom list goes on!

<3

Saddened.

Hello my little space,

I'm disappointed.for once I feel that polys have screwed up holiday timings.I feel my holidays are either too short or ending too early (meaning its ending at the wrong time)!

Everyone's gonna leave just the weekends before school starts,oh great so this little has a decision to make.

To either stay in this not-so-fucked up country or fly away for sometime.to either have a bachelor's party or to be a family girl, to either be an old school girl or be a bunker. To either pursue something essential in life or to meet who I want to.to follow the brain or to follow the heart. To sluck in sadness or obtain happiness.to either study or to attend weddings.

This trip is that important to me. Its associated with tons of things and I honestly don't want to let it go pass me. It has been a long long while since I left this place,all I need is a breather and this trip seems like the only opportunity 2012 has to offer me.

After much thought, I decided I should just let it pass me.I should secure a future that'll bring timeless opportunities for me to travel. I'll try to visit my relatives and fulfill my wants next yr hopefully.fingers crossed.

I feel proud of myself for having an aim to which I truly feel like striving for,keep it up myself! (:

<3

it's a headache to think of a title.

Hello once again,

my title has no link with this post...

I'm still not well, the constant coughing and clearing of nose sucks.Not to mention of how tired i feel, my bed seems the best place to ever be for now.

Oh nooo,i forgot what i wanted to blog about,urg!

IT'S BEEN ALMOST 36 HOURS AND THIS SUCKS.maybe i should make the first move.......

Oh ya,i wanted to mention of how nice,warm and lovely it is to talk to your close or should i say closer friends. I mean you can't just talk about anything under the sun with some stranger you just met or an ordinary classmate.

It felt so good to finally have a friend who has a little in common with me, the same ideas and close enough plans. :D

i'm only 4 years away from what i want and i guess it's time to do something so it'll come alive. Though i do not believe in what i feel i should start doing, i guess its the only way to make my dreams come true unless ....ya.

My mind will change in this matter so don't be surprise if i say something else tomorrow, it's just the beginning of my thoughts,let's see how much crazier i can get :P (i'm so missing the whatsapp emoji of :P right now)

I need to get well soon!

<3

Mind-games.

Once again we're playing mind-games.

It's fun till your brain starts processing and because I'm down with flu it processes at the rate a snail moves.

Oh gosh,this is bad I tell you.on a day when I speak without thinking, he decides to get his answers.and boom,it hits me like a bomb.

I'm gonna say something lame or bit around the bush to get my way around.why aren't any of my friends awake to help me think of a comeback?

It's okay,I cab do this,hwaiting!

Goodnight

<3

Appreciation - Dad

I'm loving my dad more each day because he suddenly is treating me like his princess.

He doesn't scold me that often nor nag at me for not doing household chores or looking after him.

It's a happy Tuesday today! :D

I woke up to not having to do my share of household chores and not having to wash the toilet.
And Dad made the day even brighter by buying me a new fan out of the blue. and i was allowed to be lazy by starring at the tv up to now.hehe.

Yay,i'm so happy.

He has been trusting me more too. I can see it, but I do not know how to explain it in words over here.

I really hope dad stays as nice as he is now so that i would be able to entirely break the communication barrier within us. Yes, I'm talking to him more often now and i'd have to say a thankyou to the drama series because it's the shows that make me speak more and more,hehe.

<3

Pushed

I'm sorry.

I no longer know what's going on in my brains and my heart.

I don't know the myth of 11.11 but since i see so many people making a wish i decided maybe i should use that opportunity to remind myself of something i really want. but now it doesn't make sense anymore because i no longer know what i want. i tell myself i want ......and then the next moment i go 'do i really want this?' or do i want .......

Internal conflict is by far one of the most disastrous thing that exist in my believe. Its a hard struggle to go through and get out off and i feel i'm getting trapped in it. I need to pull myself out but i do not know how..
What can i do to take a peek within myself and to find out what i want?

Environment plays a huge role in this too, which is why i constantly want a get away so bad but I guess in the society i'm leaving in its to early for me to make my own decisions and to roam free though i feel i am capable of doing so..
I mean my life would be a whole lot different if I'm left independent.  

Feels like I'm writing an essay,haha....

Coming back, I feel as though I'm pushing you away with my what seems to me annoying replies. I'm sorry but it's only because i don't want people to have high hopes and expectations only to be let down. I need to find a focus before i can get things going.

I know I'm weird, you probably think so as well. Who on earths tell people their dark side, well hi there, i'm one such person. But hey, i like the way i am so if you don't then fuck off. 2 options, either accept me for who i am or get the hell out of my life.

I do appreciate your thoughts towards me but it's always easy to speak than to do. Maybe your lifestyle makes it easy to do certain things which seem really tough for me and vice versa so ya I'm sorry if what i've said wasn't what you were expecting....

<3

Annoying kid

You know your life is fucked up when some kid starts to lecture you.

Everyone dislikes their parents nagging at them so just imagine how it feels like to be nagged by a kid.

Though it is good that the kid is knowledgeable about what is right and wrong and everything but it os fucking irritating and to me I feel disrespectful and rude for the kid to be literally NAGGING at an adult.I don't mean the kid shouldn't correct the adult when he's wrong but fuck it kiddo naggings not the way to go.

Being the youngest and having a lot of different views from my siblings and parents,I never once nagged at them nor said anything that a small child isn't supposed to

Yes call it ego or self-respect or dignity.but it eats my head up. What are you trying to prove by nagging at me. I do things after much thought and as a kid maybe you don't understand that and that's the only reason keeping me from screaming my head out at yoy for repeatedly NAGGING.

Fucking faggot needs to be taught some useful skills such as when and when not to say and do things.

I've had enough and I'm not tolerating anymore. One more time this happens I swear I'll snap and it'll be the worst thing ever because I foresee everyone else being dragged into this.

Just because I did not justify myself doesn't mean I'm wrong.I bet if I play my trump card none of you will have anything left to say.

Keep your life simple and avoid problems - my motto in life makes me say little though I talk a lot of crap the truly sensible things are kept within.

Now I'm really curious to know all of your answers to a question that I feel will leave not only the kid but everyone else dumbfounded.

Rage mode and all anger related feelings should be kept just within this space so chaos for now.

<3