Out of the fixation

I believe not long ago I was appreciating life and was liking how things were going but now as I'm on my way,I no longer feel the same.

I feel something is seriously wrong with me. My daily cycle seems to be changing pretty fast and I'm not a bit liking the current cycle. So a week ago I couldn't fall asleep until at least pass midnight and now I'm desperate to unite with my bed starting 10..

Doing anything seems like a chore,even watching tv.have I mentioned how I used to intensely stare at the screen throughout the drama and now I can't stay put 10 mins into it.obsession with tumblr seems to be disappearing too.food I cook no longer tastes good.I could cook good food,fyi.

What's worst is not knowing the cause of all of these and when reality hits it mother fucking sucks.oh this brings me to my vulgar language.it seems to be growing when I'm trying to eradicate it.I now scold the tutor for some really tinily minor mistake..

ALL OF THIS JUST NEEDS TO STOP.

But then....how? My plans seems to be failing on me and therefore I gave up making plans,letting nature take its course and then today a group spoke about visualisation. It sounded stupid to be honest.

The dude mentioned if you can visualize yourself reaching your goals then one fine day you will.and he was sharing hid story of how this basket baller practice perfect aiming by sitting on the bench and visualizing while his mates ran out and down the court to train and that made the man successful.

so maybe I should try out this method of thinking w/o any actions,HAHAHA.

The thing that I want is impossible to achieve,its nothing big and it's certainly achievable but just not now.

Hmm,I started by saying how I liked things a few weeks ago.yes.everything seems to be falling apart now and I'm too tired to prevent it from completely falling.sighs.my soul needs a new brain to function well~

<3