urg.

hello my little space,

I'm not feeling very good right now.
Dad's screaming over the phone,scolding his brother for the past half an hour. it's not only disturbing that a brotherhood here is at stake and a lot of other related things but its also piercing to the ears. haven't heard my dad so angry and so loud in a long long while,its been years. i can't shut my ears and this is making me feel even more agitated.

On the other hand, I'm not very happy with the mentality of my siblings. it's our second cousin's wedding reception tmr and they wanna act like some normal friend and go there just to eat and head home. i think it's bloody rude. i mean when ,my siblings got married they stayed throughout the wedding and if it were for mummy,she'd make us stay throughout too so isn't it our responsibility to show come respect and stay on?
Why can't they all try to understand, i hate to explain myself but they should be able to think of it themselves, what are brains for right?

I would also want all my relatives whether distant or close to stay in on my wedding throughout until everything is over, but with this kind of sucky attitude from my family, i wonder how many people would be present,guess just a handful. ya i dream of a big grand wedding, i see nothing wrong in it. i'm the youngest in the family and i think i deserve it. i mean my siblings have had good weddings too,err maybe except for sissy cause her wedding happened all too quickly.

I'm so frustrated, and when i take a break, i feel i'm stupid for thinking and worrying too much but can you tell me how to stop thinking? it's uncontrollable.

and then i'm so confused with what's happening in my life ever since this guy came in...he makes me feel good, i mean t's nice to receive a good morning message when you open your eyes, and a good night before you close them.
the constant, how are you doing, take care and have fun really makes my day.
I haven't had all this in a long time, not even from my awesome friends so it's really refreshing.
but dang,my brain keeps going back to think you. i don't remember a day when i haven't thought of you.something or the other brings me back there, thinking of the good times we had or at least i did.if only it could last more and go further.

well, what's fated will find a way for itself. i think the most i can do on my part is to try to get something going, well i think i should maintain my friendship.

finally dad has stopped,it feels like i should too.

so long till we meet again

<3