it's stinging like the most painful bite of a bumble bee. (i'm bad at all this metaphoric stuff but oh well)
It feels like the heart just sinks everytime i re-read the message. yes,i know i shouldn't be so stupid to keep going back to re-read the message but i just can't help myself...what do i do? i don't understand! where did we go wrong? what happened along the way? i really don't know.
it's so sickening to know that i'm affected my minor stuff,and though i'm aware i'm unable to make myself feel better,doesn't that suck even more?
and it's such a pity i turned to this space yet again to express my downside feelings.
can someone please tell me there's nothing heart breaking in this message?:
"sorry...my class is about to start...i'll talk to you later..bye"
:(
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
March
Hello,I'm back after sometime.
I can't say i was busy studying for exams cause that was just countable days. i really have no idea what i'd been up to but it seemed busy. but i'm free now,till the end of this month. probably this is going to be the free-est month of the year and maybe even up to 1st quarter of next.
Well,its time to play hard and live while i'm young.hitting the big 2 next yr. not to mention how i already feel old upon hitting 19.
I remember when i turned 18 i got crazy,i wanted to do unreasonable things...i even made a list remember? well the list is still there somewhere far back below this post and i can't be bothered to dig it up because i was awaken towards the end to realize that somethings i wanted to do were stupid so i left them undone and for others that i could not complete,i'm sure opportunities to do those will arise (:
As of now i really wanna learn scuba diving. okay maybe not learn but just experience.sounds ridiculous considering the fact that i cant even swim :/ i wanna learn,is anyone willing to teach me? :D
The urge has increased since the past few days after i saw photos of my bro's trip to bali for diving back in his teens. he was saying experience everything you want now because you don't know whether you'll be able to or not in the future. i agree with him. being a brown girls is tough. it comes with a lot of expectations some of which you may not even know. everyone's future is a mystery to be discovered each day...what will happen if i marry a brown guy whose family is very traditional.that'll probably be the end of my freedom,haha. #brown girl problems.
Yes these days every moment i'm thinking of being desi of living the indian way. my much awaited trip is drawing nearer and nearer,i can't wait,not to mention (:
thinking of planning another getaway in december but i'm clueless as to whether i'll have holidays or not?
and the coming academic year,it's not to be played with. no more slackings because i really needa do well and start thinking of what i wanna do after my diploma.
this post is already long yet there's so many more things on my mind that i wanna say. #effects of not blogging for so long
and it's already so jumbled up,no proper sequence and all so i'm gonna leave it as it is and come back some other time,till then xoxo~
Monday, 11 February 2013
A new addition
On the 4th of February we welcomed a new member to our family.
Cheers to my rapidly growing family :D
Babies too cutee and I just love shopping for her and carrying her! And her nicknames awesomeeeee too,hehe. I've a feeling I'll forget her real name if everyone keeps calling her by her nick.yes,it's a little difficult to remember,lol.
Anw,my house is currently very extremely lively with everyone living in it altogether.it's a positive thing but it's a bad thing considering how near exams are. Hopefully I'll be able to juggle it well.still thinking of where to study for the next two weeks,any ideas?
And let me end off with well wishes for my dearest Chinese friends.may the new lunar new year being about much more satisfaction (:
<3
Sunday, 10 February 2013
MRT
I took the east-west line after quite a number of days ob Saturday and I'm happy to say I noticed a change.
Well,to me this change is actually quite big..
Because previously there was an uproar abt it.
And the change was that the voice you hear in the mrt is now different.it sounds more Singaporean and the announcement is made in a muxh clearer tone and messages are kept short.
For example, they say something along the line of 'paya lebar interchange.change to the circle line here.'
It may sound a little insincere but it's much more direct and easier to register.
The voice is no longer some China person's who can't even pronounce properly.
So yay to this change.
Hope fully all the other mrt lines would change their voices too.
Love how I can spot all this small changes because it makes me realise the government is actually trying its best to improve things.
Not to mention abt the gigantic fans at the overhead stations. The wind from it is just fooyeo!
Keep improving Singapore and keep speaking up for things you're not satisfied abt, people of Singapore! (:
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
Public Speaking
Public speaking class is for this semester the most interesting class, the one i look forward to most.though i may complain about it, i really have a good time and leave the class with a positive feeling always.
This is all because of wonderful classmates! and i believe my sitting position cause the other half of the class on the other side seem stony.
PS didn't start off all that well, i remember facing technical issues during my first presentation and that initially no one was helping me solve the problem until the tutor screamed at the class. However,after that it has been smooth sailing. they're all really nice people.
We greet each other outside class if we happen to see each other, something which i don't do with my fellow yr 2 classmates,isn't it such a pity?
and in class they never fail to make me laugh and more importantly they're there to support you and not shun you down because they disagree with you. this really helps to boost confidence and makes the lesson forwarding looking.
sometimes i feel that PS class is infinitely more united compared to my own class,isn't it an irony. i only spend 2 hrs each wk with PS class and uncountable hrs with my class but idk why we're not even close to unity.
Its really amazing that such few words can have a huge impact.
Not to mention they're all so cuteee and funny! hehehe :D
Looking forward to the rest of their speeches next wk. 2 more lessons to go only, and i'm gonna remember this cds for life and probably going to miss them.
PS is a great cds in the sense that it makes you more socially aware and gets you thinking about general stuff.
(:
Despite all this happy moments in schools, i'm not able to pick myself up. :(
Last night before i slept, i told myself tomorrow will be a brand new day,with a fresh beginning.told myself to leave the unpleasant things behind but no, the moment i woke up i thought of it,sigh.
Please get him a new phone somehow and really quick.
<3
This is all because of wonderful classmates! and i believe my sitting position cause the other half of the class on the other side seem stony.
PS didn't start off all that well, i remember facing technical issues during my first presentation and that initially no one was helping me solve the problem until the tutor screamed at the class. However,after that it has been smooth sailing. they're all really nice people.
We greet each other outside class if we happen to see each other, something which i don't do with my fellow yr 2 classmates,isn't it such a pity?
and in class they never fail to make me laugh and more importantly they're there to support you and not shun you down because they disagree with you. this really helps to boost confidence and makes the lesson forwarding looking.
sometimes i feel that PS class is infinitely more united compared to my own class,isn't it an irony. i only spend 2 hrs each wk with PS class and uncountable hrs with my class but idk why we're not even close to unity.
Its really amazing that such few words can have a huge impact.
Not to mention they're all so cuteee and funny! hehehe :D
Looking forward to the rest of their speeches next wk. 2 more lessons to go only, and i'm gonna remember this cds for life and probably going to miss them.
PS is a great cds in the sense that it makes you more socially aware and gets you thinking about general stuff.
(:
Despite all this happy moments in schools, i'm not able to pick myself up. :(
Last night before i slept, i told myself tomorrow will be a brand new day,with a fresh beginning.told myself to leave the unpleasant things behind but no, the moment i woke up i thought of it,sigh.
Please get him a new phone somehow and really quick.
<3
Monday, 28 January 2013
28/1/2013
Hello my space,
hmm,google once had some social networking site called my space right? is it still there, what's it about?
is it even powered by google? lol!
random thought just flew through ^
I came here to express my happiness for the winning part of the by-elections for Punggol East.
Yes, WORKER'S PARTY,WORKER'S PARTY.
It came as no surprise to me that they won,i mean the lady in blue was the only one who seemed she could do something...haha,what am i saying. however, my political views differ from that of my family and friends. they were quite shocked to know wp won.
I'm not saying wp is the best or whatsoever, but just looking at the candidates the various political parties put up,it was expected that wp would win.
Feel that the ruling party made a wrong move. they are lowering my faith in them. they put up a newbie for a by-election. like hello,are you out of your mind. you want this newbie to run a smc? who on earth is going to guide him and teach him on what to do and stuff..in the end it'll it a losing end for them, a waste of manpower. why not train him up properly like shadow a proper mp first then stand for elections in the next round? he'd perform better with more confidence. however, as a newbie i think he did put up a good fight. but again was it cause he's speeches were wrote for him? or his supporters were supporters of his party and voted blindly instead of basing it on the true potential of the candidates.
Anyway,i feel embarrassed for the candidate from reform party. idk how to spell his name, Mr J i shall call him. till today i have no idea what his point was. i mean what do you get by shunning your opponents. that's not the way to play the game, losers play it that way! boohoo,but again maybe it's just me who isn't able to understand him. well,its sad that he's deposit is forfeited,its a huge sum of money to me!!!
I feel that the next elections would bring about much more interesting stuff, especially in my area! On the day that the by-elections were announced, i heard a group of people cheering wp when we're currently under pap. wp supporters increasing over here,hmm...but pap is doing a good job in my area leh..
<3
hmm,google once had some social networking site called my space right? is it still there, what's it about?
is it even powered by google? lol!
random thought just flew through ^
I came here to express my happiness for the winning part of the by-elections for Punggol East.
Yes, WORKER'S PARTY,WORKER'S PARTY.
It came as no surprise to me that they won,i mean the lady in blue was the only one who seemed she could do something...haha,what am i saying. however, my political views differ from that of my family and friends. they were quite shocked to know wp won.
I'm not saying wp is the best or whatsoever, but just looking at the candidates the various political parties put up,it was expected that wp would win.
Feel that the ruling party made a wrong move. they are lowering my faith in them. they put up a newbie for a by-election. like hello,are you out of your mind. you want this newbie to run a smc? who on earth is going to guide him and teach him on what to do and stuff..in the end it'll it a losing end for them, a waste of manpower. why not train him up properly like shadow a proper mp first then stand for elections in the next round? he'd perform better with more confidence. however, as a newbie i think he did put up a good fight. but again was it cause he's speeches were wrote for him? or his supporters were supporters of his party and voted blindly instead of basing it on the true potential of the candidates.
Anyway,i feel embarrassed for the candidate from reform party. idk how to spell his name, Mr J i shall call him. till today i have no idea what his point was. i mean what do you get by shunning your opponents. that's not the way to play the game, losers play it that way! boohoo,but again maybe it's just me who isn't able to understand him. well,its sad that he's deposit is forfeited,its a huge sum of money to me!!!
I feel that the next elections would bring about much more interesting stuff, especially in my area! On the day that the by-elections were announced, i heard a group of people cheering wp when we're currently under pap. wp supporters increasing over here,hmm...but pap is doing a good job in my area leh..
<3
Friday, 25 January 2013
Distracted
In my post approximately a week ago i mentioned "may the smile on face prevail"....
In a confused state whether i should stop being appreciative or not...? maybe stop having expectations is the answer to everything. feels like every time i feel things are good or falling in place it never fails to just shad into pieces all over again.
Was working on my project determined to complete it before i go for my walk but now its not going to happen..Brains functioning way too much right now.
Sleeping is no longer a joy! :(
But absolutely love the idea of this little space of mine, because in times of urgent need to say things without having anyone to say it to or an appropriate place to mention it at, there's this ever welcoming space.
I've noticed myself posting about my worries and troubles more than anything else. Well that's because, lately i've taken on nerd mode and if i'm not in that mode i'm just too busy with tv or tumblr.
Yes,you've guessed it right, i'm here again today to speak about my troubles.
It sucks how i pick myself up to get work going and kicking and then just a phrase or sentence from somewhere,someone just triggers me up causing the sensation of a bomb blast about to occur.
The trigger a few minutes ago was: "the problem is like us.....you are not accepting it then what should i do,tell me."
Yes there's a problem at hand and i couldn't take it anymore so i decided to ask for opinions and then baaam,it suddenly relates to me and this person who i was asking.
This is not the feeling of guilty,idk what feeling this is. fyi, the problem has no relation to us,its completely different.
to the us: it's never gonna happen but he can't stop harping on it,he keeps asking me to reconsider but its just impossible. things that he does makes me feel bad for not being accepting as he puts it. well i'm ok with this situation as long as he keeps mentioning the fact that i'm rejecting.
the problem is problem. i cannot solve it and can't do anything to make it better and that's what kills.
Another thing on mind is dad's sudden interest in ahem. can't even remember if i've mentioned ahem's name on my blog but oh well let's make do with ahem. this situation is like a tangled roll of thick thread in my head. i cannot untangle it unless i open my mouth to ask thousands of questions, something i'm not up for at the moment.
Dad's issue aside, kakak ipah was asking me about him today too. It began with a question to an answer of no followed by you're lying, you do talk to him and i know it. ohhh shit..actually i'm ok with all of them knowing we talk but i don't to put off a wrong impression. so it ended with ask him about it.sighs.....
Praying really hard for le buddies to set sail for the better. Guilty of not talking enough to her and ensuring she's ok. want to meet her so badly but it doesn't look like its possible so all i can do is pray and pray for the better.
Missing the girl in thailand. her life's on a crossroad too.
so many issues in my head and not to mention on how much i am missing my 2 sweethearts!!
haven't met them since last yr! we sure would have so much to catch up on when we next meet. and waiting for march to come feels like forever a right now.
really thankful that i'm not the sort of girl would just breakdown and cry at everything.
may things move for the better and the better of all our lives.
Xoxo-
In a confused state whether i should stop being appreciative or not...? maybe stop having expectations is the answer to everything. feels like every time i feel things are good or falling in place it never fails to just shad into pieces all over again.
Was working on my project determined to complete it before i go for my walk but now its not going to happen..Brains functioning way too much right now.
Sleeping is no longer a joy! :(
But absolutely love the idea of this little space of mine, because in times of urgent need to say things without having anyone to say it to or an appropriate place to mention it at, there's this ever welcoming space.
I've noticed myself posting about my worries and troubles more than anything else. Well that's because, lately i've taken on nerd mode and if i'm not in that mode i'm just too busy with tv or tumblr.
Yes,you've guessed it right, i'm here again today to speak about my troubles.
It sucks how i pick myself up to get work going and kicking and then just a phrase or sentence from somewhere,someone just triggers me up causing the sensation of a bomb blast about to occur.
The trigger a few minutes ago was: "the problem is like us.....you are not accepting it then what should i do,tell me."
Yes there's a problem at hand and i couldn't take it anymore so i decided to ask for opinions and then baaam,it suddenly relates to me and this person who i was asking.
This is not the feeling of guilty,idk what feeling this is. fyi, the problem has no relation to us,its completely different.
to the us: it's never gonna happen but he can't stop harping on it,he keeps asking me to reconsider but its just impossible. things that he does makes me feel bad for not being accepting as he puts it. well i'm ok with this situation as long as he keeps mentioning the fact that i'm rejecting.
the problem is problem. i cannot solve it and can't do anything to make it better and that's what kills.
Another thing on mind is dad's sudden interest in ahem. can't even remember if i've mentioned ahem's name on my blog but oh well let's make do with ahem. this situation is like a tangled roll of thick thread in my head. i cannot untangle it unless i open my mouth to ask thousands of questions, something i'm not up for at the moment.
Dad's issue aside, kakak ipah was asking me about him today too. It began with a question to an answer of no followed by you're lying, you do talk to him and i know it. ohhh shit..actually i'm ok with all of them knowing we talk but i don't to put off a wrong impression. so it ended with ask him about it.sighs.....
Praying really hard for le buddies to set sail for the better. Guilty of not talking enough to her and ensuring she's ok. want to meet her so badly but it doesn't look like its possible so all i can do is pray and pray for the better.
Missing the girl in thailand. her life's on a crossroad too.
so many issues in my head and not to mention on how much i am missing my 2 sweethearts!!
haven't met them since last yr! we sure would have so much to catch up on when we next meet. and waiting for march to come feels like forever a right now.
really thankful that i'm not the sort of girl would just breakdown and cry at everything.
may things move for the better and the better of all our lives.
Xoxo-
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