Distracted

In my post approximately a week ago i mentioned "may the smile on face prevail"....
In a confused state whether i should stop being appreciative or not...? maybe stop having expectations is the answer to everything. feels like every time i feel things are good or falling in place it never fails to just shad into pieces all over again.

Was working on my project determined to complete it before i go for my walk but now its not going to happen..Brains functioning way too much right now.

Sleeping is no longer a joy! :(

But absolutely love the idea of this little space of mine, because in times of urgent need to say things without having anyone to say it to or an appropriate place to mention it at, there's this ever welcoming space.

I've noticed myself posting about my worries and troubles more than anything else. Well that's because, lately i've taken on nerd mode and if i'm not in that mode i'm just too busy with tv or tumblr.

Yes,you've guessed it right, i'm here again today to speak about my troubles.

It sucks how i pick myself up to get work going and kicking and then just a phrase or sentence from somewhere,someone just triggers me up causing the sensation of a bomb blast about to occur.

The trigger a few minutes ago was: "the problem is like us.....you are not accepting it then what should i do,tell me."

Yes there's a problem at hand and i couldn't take it anymore so i decided to ask for opinions and then baaam,it suddenly relates to me and this person who i was asking.

This is not the feeling of guilty,idk what feeling this is. fyi, the problem has no relation to us,its completely different.

to the us: it's never gonna happen but he can't stop harping on it,he keeps asking me to reconsider but its just impossible. things that he does makes me feel bad for not being accepting as he puts it. well i'm ok with this situation as long as he keeps mentioning the fact that i'm rejecting.

the problem is problem. i cannot solve it and can't do anything to make it better and that's what kills.

Another thing on mind is dad's sudden interest in ahem. can't even remember if i've mentioned ahem's name on my blog but oh well let's make do with ahem. this situation is like a tangled roll of thick thread in my head. i cannot untangle it unless i open my mouth to ask thousands of questions, something i'm not up for at the moment.

Dad's issue aside, kakak ipah was asking me about him today too. It began with a question to an answer of no followed by you're lying, you do talk to him and i know it. ohhh shit..actually i'm ok with all of them knowing we talk but i don't to put off a wrong impression. so it ended with ask him about it.sighs.....

Praying really hard for le buddies to set sail for the better. Guilty of not talking enough to her and ensuring she's ok. want to meet her so badly but it doesn't look like its possible so all i can do is pray and pray for the better.

Missing the girl in thailand. her life's on a crossroad too.

so many issues in my head and not to mention on how much i am missing my 2 sweethearts!!
haven't met them since last yr! we sure would have so much to catch up on when we next meet. and waiting for march to come feels like forever a right now.

really thankful that i'm not the sort of girl would just breakdown and cry at everything.

may things move for the better and the better of all our lives.

Xoxo-