My brains feels so suffocated right now.
It's so narrowed,constraint and urg,idk what to say.
I just want one chance, i'm not even asking you to sacrifice any of your shit for me.
just hear me out,allow me to make myself feel at ease and get a peace of mind.
after if you want to leave you can, it won't affect me that badly.
what am i supposed to think when you just decide to disappear just like that.
you're just assuming things though your assumptions are right it doesn't make a difference.
are you trying to run away? why don't you want to talk to me? if it isn't going to affect you, me texting you shouldn't make a difference right? what's more, i send you very cold messages, messages without any emotions without much hehe haha,just the way you do it with me..idk whether you like it that way or not but after years i see a barrier that cannot be broken.
idk how we made it through 3 years with no quarrels and just smiles,happiness and purely entertainment. i don't feel that way anymore, why? feels like something happened either just before or right after Os.
i'm insecure,yes,fuck, i'm insecure. i cannot stand people who have been there in my life for quite sometime to just leave like that. one stupid girl whom i knew for barely half a yr made me take a few months to get a grip of myself and for me to stop caring about her..
so how long is it going to take me to get over a 9 year friendship?
You're one guy who i felt so much for, making myself seem lika fool. and i just feel i deserve better and because i deserve better i should forget you. that's what brain logic says. hais,the heart however, decides to go against it....reasoning the period of affection spent over him compared to the amt of tries to get him is not enough.
i need a break. i feel so lost, so tired.
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