life's progressing but it seems to be in a standstill.
my mind is too focused and engaged in something i may not even be able to have.
trying very hard to keep myself away from this shit,yes i call it shit because i see it becoming too extreme to the extend that it affects my daily life.the worst part is that i lose control over the situation.
Thank God for such understanding and helpful friends so allow me to blabber every single rubbish of mine to them. so happy for their support and for standing by me always and for knocking sense into me!!
LOVE YOU BABES! <3
Thinking about them makes me temporarily forget about my shitass problem
it's not even a problem to start with. it's just too extremely one-sided that everything i say makes it sound like a fantasy or novel i am reading.
i don't even know why i'm so caught up between this when it was never that bad. i should've been going gaga over this when i used to see him and talk to him on a daily basis right?
I conclude that i'm a total weirdo.a weirdo who is lost and confused,doesn't know what to do and is ending up making other people tolerate her insensible talk and irritating the dude who claims he needs to study.
In a dilemma of whether i should just fucking give up or wait another 6 mths since i was a fool to have waited these say 5 yrs. i see the pros and cons to both side and making a call has never seemed so difficult as it is now.
the dude is weird too.i dont know what he is thinking and I FEEL THE NEED TO KNOW.he never fails to leave me hanging...some things he says makes me see some interest but then things like not replying me makes me think maybe not.so WHAT!!
on a brighter note, i've started communicating with my classmates,yay!
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