Negativity~

I think I can be an astrologist ^^
I seem to be predicting my feelings, emotions, outcomes of things I do,etc etc.
and to my horror, not so dramatic luh, and to my surprise, not so surprising since i predicted it, it goes with my thoughts.fuck this shit.
ya from the title you can tell that all the thoughts, prediction are on the down side.

it's the holidays and i thought i can have a peace of my mind during the two weeks of vacation since most of my problems seemed to be school/ project related in the past few months.
thinking back now,i feel as though i indulge myself in school related problems to avoid having to worry about other problems..you know keeping yourself so caught up with surface problems to avoid deeper ones?
but now that there's no school,my mood is getting spoiled by school related shit.honestly,i can't wait to graduate.i know everywhere i go there would still be problems but that's just the feeling i get.

So i got shot down by my auntie tutor in the presence of my course mates on the online portal :/ :(
she's such a bitch.why didn't she said a sentence or two to show her appreciation towards my work? obviously because she doesn't even appreciate it. fuck off seriously. you don't know how alone i am in this, i bet you don't even care cause you think it's my duty to seek help and sort out my other problems but hell ya bitch words are easy to utter but actions are hard to show.you should be wise enough to know this by now! or maybe you turned old too early cause you were too busy shoving people off your life.
okay,i'm starting to not make sense.
anyway, this auntie tutor she looks down on us!
In the instructions to our next project, she insulted all of us for the work we handed in for the first project and that we're not on par with the paralegals out there and that we'll be fired -.- and that we're not ready for corporate law.
I think that bitch needs to understand a few things:
1. Project 1 is not graded - us being us won't do it with our hearts and souls
2. We aren't even paralegals YET so you're fucking wrong to compare us with one
3. You're looking down on the paralegals out there by comparing us with them. if we're on par, something would be seriously wrong.
4. Your threatens or say it your way your motivations are not working on us,clearly not!
5. Family law is a separate entity from corporate law. if we aren't good at family law doesn't mean we'll suck at corporate law too.
6. i think there's a lot for you to learn because you clearly are just having fun screaming on your end without feeling the need to understand the situation of your students. i therefore, declare you to be a horrible tutor.

sorry,for such blunt and harsh words but really,after reading her writings to us, i see no need to be nice anymore. Maybe it would've been better if for more supportive and not self fish group mates.

see how much school is affecting me even during the holidays?!

and then my love story is at stale. why oh why don't you reply me? there's a thousand reasons i can think of for not receiving a reply but this one horrible reasoning keeps repeating itself :(
i won't give up. there's no turning back once i've made the decision and the first move. it's only 2/11 tries,effectively i have 9 more to go,hwaiting~

In my previous post,i said i wanted to say something nice about ..............but i'll wait. sad to say, time has changed things and my mind too. i feel so zoned,fucked up.i don't even know why i keep giving in when i'm not obliged to and that i don't owe anyone anything. i would happily carry out my duties if the one i'm carrying out my duties to would do the same. why must i do my part when you haven't done yours? you only started your part when you were forced and had no other options.so should i do the same? well, i can't stand myself being so mean so good on you and cries on me.
people should stop claiming self importance.

I really hope some light would shed in my life sooon!
till then may the odds ever in my favour and yours too (:

<3